Ella: An Introduction
My friends commissioned this illustration by the talented Taelor Pawnell of @stylishsista and @shopstylishsista.
My grandmother celebrated her birthday the entire month of July. Even though her birthday was at the end of the month, rest assured that if you came in contact with her on July 1 at midnight and any day of the month thereafter, she would exclaim:
“It’s my birthday!”
Those who were her family or friends often were slightly exasperated when she said this.
I would respond and say: “Today is not your birthday, Grandma. It isn’t until the end of the month,” my hand on my forehead shielding my slight eye roll.
She would respond “It’s July! My birthday is in July.”
And so, we all listened for the next thirty-one days as she told people it was her birthday. In due time, we too, began to celebrate her the entire month of July.
Join Louis Hilton this July for our mini-series, Ella, as we celebrate the life and legacy of my beloved grandmother. We will share memories, and of course, some history.
I received many of my grandmother’s traits by way of my mother: her wisdom, love for different types of people and her ability to relate and find commonality with them. I also received my favorite Ella trait: her love and steadfast admiration of her roots, her culture and, frankly, her hood. She was so fond of East Saint Louis, and she had no problem proudly telling you where she was from.
She would stop you, look you dead in your eyes and explain: “You know where Saint Louis is? That’s Missouri, I’m from across the river in Illinois. In East Saint Louis.” Even as her hometown changed and faced problems experienced by so many of our once bustling midwestern boom towns, she remained proud; and so I became like her. I too have a deep affection for her city.
I loved visiting East Saint Louis during the summer: seeing my cousins, going to events at my mom’s high school, watching the Cardinals and hearing my grandma’s take on the Chicago Bulls and St. Louis Rams. At the time, the Bulls were on top of the basketball world and the Rams with Isaac Bruce, Kurt Warner, Marshall Faulk and Terry Holt were the greatest show on turf. I also enjoyed selling beanie babies (yes, you read that right) at local flea markets, and generally just riding through the city; where Ella wanted to take you in East Saint, you went.
My grandmother and I were connected until the very end. Louis Hilton was founded on May 14, 2023: my birthday and Mother’s Day. A year later on May 14, 2024, my mom called me to tell me my grandma was transitioning; she was gone a week later on my brother’s birthday. That day, I spoke with her for the last time. Tearfully, I listened to my mother remind her of all of my accomplishments, including this platform, Louis Hilton.
Choking back tears I asked: “How are you doing Grandma? I love you.”
She responded: “I’m kicking baby, but I’m not kicking too hard.”
My grandma loved life, I mean loved life. Although she was in pain for many of my thirty-three years, the pain had to be unbearable before you heard her complain; that’s how I knew it was bad. She always wanted those around her to be more comfortable than she was; I must say I have adopted that trait as well. I could be having the worst day, but I worry about my friends and family to ensure that they are not.
Therefore, in her final moment with me, she immediately quipped, to comfort me: “Well if I ever need a lawyer, I’ll call you! Love you, babe.”
I loved her so much. I regret that I did not believe she was truly sick; because Ella always persevered. I thought she would pull through like she always had. Life tried to knock her down so many times, and she always got back up. In my mind, she would get up and keep swinging once again, but it was time and there was greater waiting for her on the other side.
I love you grandma, may you rest in eternal peace.
